That Time I Wrote a Musical About Fetuses… Feti? (And There Are Puppets)

During the last election cycle, I happened to be taking a comedy sketch writing course. I know, right??

Thank you, Universe…

The satire assignment just happened to line up with Rick Santorum’s comments that sometimes God has terrible timing. He was referring, of course, to fetuses (feti?) conceived in rape.

So then I wrote a musical called “Fetus Schmetus.” A puppet musical, I should say.

As originally conceived (ha!), the puppets would be fetuses communicating with one another from the wombs of their various mothers, each with a different opinion on the matter.

But we had zero budget. Ok, we had $20. So I had to tweak the concept a bit. Ok, a lot.

A Word from The Author: I am pro-choice — a woman has dominion over the contents of her uterus. I use my uterus, mainly, for sarcasm.

What hit the stage was this:

Thank you to all the actors and writers of The Marshmallow Overthrow. Our next show should be called Toasted: The Return of The Marshmallow Overthrow.

Here They Come Now (Chelsea Girls)

Here they come now…

Something about her voice
She seemed amazed she lived so long,
that she made it out alive at all…

Here they come now…

I grab my boots and gloves,
The ones from 1966, black leather to my elbows.
Peel the windblown hair away from my mouth.
Chased by the ghost of her voice.

Here they come now…

Her eyes were large and round and beautiful and sad
Sad like her voice was sad. She knew too much.
Saw too much in technicolor.

Here they come now…

I grab my boots and gloves,
The ones from 1966, black leather to my elbows.
Peel the windblown hair away from my mouth.
Chased by the ghost of her voice.
The Chelsea Girl.

The Chelsea Girl Singing ‘Chelsea Girls’ at The Chelsea Hotel

A La Madrague

La Madrague is playing…

I don’t know what it means,
but I see painted toenails
tickling the surface of water,
and I want to wander
with my arms spread,
painted fingernails
brushing at the arms of air.

And I’m in a long dress…

which a short girl should never wear,
but I don’t care what the papers say
I am having a La Madrague day.

Whatever it means.

It Is So Quiet (Apart from the Humming)

Pink SlideI always have music around me.
Before the age of the iPhone, iPod, or Sony anything, I would hum little songs,
A series of related notes,
Like cousins wandering arm in arm
to the creeks of my childhood.
No matter how noisy it gets,
Music stills me,
Reminds me,
To be still,
To listen.
And it’s quiet,
Apart from the humming.